I am falling more and more in love with this girl named Angela. I'm so glad we're getting married! We've been doing some marriage counseling, seeing our pastor and his wife and spending as much time as we can afford together; sooner or later we start miss understanding each other cause we're so tired and I think she's calling me a pretzel when she's really just saying my name, I think. Just the other day, on our way to an appointment she said: "I'm hungry." later I said we should go get some food before we continued on in our day, she looked at me like I was crazy, "I'm not hungry." "But you said earlier that you were...?" "Did I? I think I meant that I wanted pie... at that moment..." That was a funny realization. It's all fun.
The hard thing is the change, the changing from a single Pat to a married Pat. Even now I don't feel single, but that's not truly the reality. And when all is said and done I am a bride already to my Lord, so how do I love this woman before me? For those of you who know me - and those coming to understand me - I have an interesting relationship with change, not the best relationship.
We started moving in to our new place the other day and I watched her walk down the hall of our new apartment and I thought, dude, you are moving in with this girl! You are going to marry her! Reality can open your eyes real quick, and I feel a little nervous. Those nerves fade though when she says "hey, when we build our own house, can we have trap doors? And maybe a secret room?!" "YES! That's awesome!"
But in all the thoughts and moving, counseling and roller coaster emotional moments we have both seen God do some amazing things in each of our lives. God has brought together two people who strive for a life full of Him, to glorify Him. And as our humanness comes out more fully and we see who we are really, He is there, and it's so amazing and beautiful. Wow, we are both no where near perfect but as we both trust in God, we/I just am continuously amazing at the faithfulness of God. He is so wonderful! I am so happy that God is leading me closer to Himself, and with Angela no less. The life that God gives is not easy, but it is truly LIFE.